My Alpaca is a Jerk: (But We Love Him), Hardcover/***

My alpaca is jerk! But we do love him. Meet Sir Spits A Lot-a feisty spit happy alpaca. He knows no boundaries on the gurgling and churn of his bile and how it will spurt out onto you. Onto your face, your hair, your arm and anything else that is within spit distance. He doesn't just spit when he is angry. He spits for the spit of it! *Alpacas are prey animals and spit, which is actually bile from the depths of hell that I like to call-their stomach, is their way of warning or discouraging unwanted bullshit. It's a foul smelling, chunky mix of grass and saliva and anything else they might have decided to eat. When alpacas spit it is usually aimed for another alpaca or if they are feeling threatened. But if you own a spit-a-holic like I do...they just spit for the sake of spitting. It's all part of their charm. So don't be discouraged when you see an alpaca. Chances are, they won't be an asshole like mine.